#i'll try to do some transparents on my own.

[les4lesbushfire]

em hotep, everyone. i'm going to be closing requests and do my own thing for a little bit. my spouse, the one who makes my transparents, has been having eye troubles for the past few weeks. i want them to rest their eyes as much as possible, as i don't want him to possibly go blind.

thank you for your understanding.

[aishangotome]

"Ah, No Need for Money" - Azel (His POV)

Card and story provided by @shatcey!

Azel: Enis, please tell the High Priest...

Azel: ...that God seems to be infatuated with a foreign girl.

-

Some time had passed since I began using Rhodolite's foreign girl as a shield against women –

Due to official duties, there was a day when I absolutely had to leave the solitary desert castle and stay at the royal palace.

(...Damn it. This is why I don't want to stay in the castle for long.)

(That damned geezer keeps sending me woman after woman whenever he gets the chance...)

The place I quickly head to, so as not to get entangled any further, was the room prepared for foreign guests.

(At this rate, the woman is probably being targeted too.)

(I've assigned her a guard as a precaution and had given those around her strict warnings.)

(She shouldn't be drugged with aphrodisiacs like before... but I should still go check on her.)

(Not that I'm worried or anything, but I couldn't leave her alone in the temple.)

(Since I brought her to the castle for my own convenience, I'll have to compensate her if anything happens.)

(...That's right. It's just that simple.)

Making excuses to no one in particular, I reach the designated room.

When I knock on the door, hurried footsteps and a loud clatter overlap from inside.

(What is it?)

Azel: I'm coming in.

I open the door before I hear permission.

Emma: Th-this is a misunderstanding!

The first words I hear and the scene before my eyes are something even a miracle diviner couldn't predict.

(I gave them strict warnings, though...)

In the moonlight, the woman, who had fallen to the floor, is dressed in harem attire.

The area of exposed skin is greater than usual, and even more concerning is the design of the clothes.

The color and material clearly imitate the attire of a God, and it's tailored in such a way that 10 out of 10 people would recognize her as God's woman.

(Is this the geezer's doing? Or the maid's meddling?)

Emma: I didn't expect anyone to come to my room at this hour...

Azel: Ah, so you do know that's harem attire.

Emma: ...The head maid brought it to me as an apology for the aphrodisiac incident before.

Emma: It seems the harem has many outfits prepared so that Prince Azel can receive women at any time...

Emma: She gave it to me out of goodwill, saying it would suit me.

Azel: Goodwill? You mean malice.

(It's transparent that they want me to lay my hands on her no matter what.)

Exasperated, I still extend my hand to the woman.

I understood from the situation that she had tripped when I knocked on the door.

Emma: ...Thank you.

The woman seemed to understand my intention and obediently took my hand to stand up.

(No injuries... good.)

Emma: The maids only gave me the outfit, they didn't force me to wear it.

Azel: Then why did you put it on?

Emma: ...Well, that...

Emma: I-Isn't it cute?

Azel: Huh?

The woman's face turns a distinct red.

Emma: This outfit... it's so Tanzanite-like and cute, I thought.

Emma: And see, it matches with yours, Prince Azel.

Emma: I just wanted to try it on once since I wouldn't be showing it to anyone.

Emma: I didn't expect you to come right after I put it on...

Her voice trails off, and in the end, she even puts some distance between us.

(...What is this strange feeling?)

For no reason, I withdraw the hand I had started to extend.

Azel: You have a peculiar hobby, wanting to try on harem clothes.

Emma: I thought you'd say that, so I was going to wear it in secret...

Emma: ...By the way, what brings you here so late at night, Prince Azel?

(...)

Azel: Actually, the High Priest sent another woman to me...

Azel: I felt my life was in danger, so I came to take refuge with you.

(It's not a lie.)

(...Although I've already shaken off the woman and there's no need to take refuge.)

Emma: I see...

Fortunately, the woman didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

Emma: ...Wait a minute. You're not planning to stay here all night, are you?

Azel: That's my intention.

Emma: I didn't hear that!?

Azel: I just said it.

(This is the quickest way to ensure your safety from those crazies.)

Emma: Then I'll go change.

Azel: You can stay in that outfit if you want to.

Emma: ...It's not exactly calming, is it?

Azel: You said yourself it was "cute."

Emma: It's more embarrassing than cute in front of you, Prince Azel.

Azel: Don't worry about it. I don't feel anything even if you wear harem clothes.

Emma: Even so, I do mind...!

I instinctively grab the hand of the woman who tries to escape to another room.

(Ah...)

Emma: ...Prince Azel?

Azel: No...

(Why did I stop her?)

(...It's not like I thought she looked good in it or anything, or that I wanted to see more...)

(It's not like that...)

Unable to back down now, after hesitating, I sit down on the nearby bed.

Emma: ! ?

As I pull the woman onto my lap so she can't escape, an indescribable silence swallows everything.

(What am I doing?)

(...How am I going to explain what I intend to do from here?)

Emma: Um...

Azel: You're interested enough in the harem to wear that outfit in secret, right?

Emma: Eh?

Azel: Then let me give you a bit of trivia.

Though I know it's forceful, I take an apple from a nearby fruit basket and place it in the woman's hand.

Emma: ...What's this?

Azel: Aren't you hungry? You can eat it, you know.

Emma: There's definitely something behind this, isn't there?

Azel: I'm a benevolent God.

Emma: A benevolent God wouldn't force someone onto his lap like this...

Azel: Just eat it.

When I urge her, wanting to silence her, the woman obediently takes a bite of the apple.

Emma: Mmm... It's delicious.

(Why is she needlessly exuding sex appeal just by eating? Is it because of the outfit?)

Whether intentional or unconscious, the woman puts her arms around my neck for support.

Though I brought this upon myself, I felt dizzy.

Emma: But what does biting into an apple have to do with trivia?

(That's right, I almost forgot the main topic.)

Azel: ...There are a few unspoken rules in the harem.

Azel: What do you think it means to eat fruit in front of the master?

Emma: .......

Emma: "Aren't you hungry?"

(...Damn it, she's too cute.)

(No, that's not it, that's not it.)

Azel: "Won't you eat me?"

Emma: Huh!?

Azel: If the master bites back into the apple... I'm sure you understand what happens next?

Emma: I don't understand, I don't want to understand!

I put my arm around the clearly flustered woman's waist and bring my face close to the apple.

Azel: The act of eating fruit openly in front of someone requires self-confidence.

Azel: If you're confident you can captivate me, try it. If you can...

My lips touch the apple – the woman, red-faced, watches in a daze without stopping me.

(...Stop me.)

Emma: Eek...!

Instead of biting the apple, I pinch her cheek.

Emma: Wh-What are you doing!?

Azel: Learn from this and don't carelessly wear harem clothes.

Azel: It's a good thing it was a benevolent God who found you. If another man had seen you, he might have misunderstood.

(...Did I manage to gloss over it?)

(I glossed over it, I must have glossed over it.)

Emma: ...No one but you, Prince Azel, would come to my room this late at night.

Azel: That's good to know.

(...)

(................)

(...................This is awkward.)

(Even though I didn't eat the apple, why is it strangely sweet...? Damn it.)

.

.

.

FIN

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[yanderestarangel]

HEADKANONS BI HAN | SUB ZERO MK1 WITH S/O

A/N: I'm going to write headcanons about all the men in MK, I'm going to write one shots, fanfic, I'm going crazy and more horny for each one of them... I'm gay as f*ck. Do you want to make a request? Read my blog rules in the pinned post.

TW: sfw, headcanons in general, afab reader, smut.

He is an aggressive lover. I mean, he's not going to hit you or anything, but he's extremely cold (I laughed after remembering that he's fucking sub zero lol), he's the type to talk the basics, even to you, so don't do it "silly" questions for him, if he's okay or if he ate, he'll answer: "-I'm here in front of you so obviously I'm fine." "-Don't worry, I know how to take care of myself, I'm not a child."

He likes to show his love for you through actions, like buying you something you've been wanting for a while, like giving you a bouquet of flowers, small but meaningful, Bi-Han doesn't know how to express love for anyone, I'm sorry, But it's the truth, but he tries for you, even if it's not the best.

Bi-Han cares about you even if he doesn't express it, he knows that he is a frustrated and wrong man in several actions, even if he wants to lie to himself that he doesn't, you both know that, but if you haven't given up on him, and You're still on his side, it means you love him, and he values that.

Bi Han won't let you work outside of his sight, that is, he will want you at home, you can beg or try to argue, he will say: "-Your job is to be my husband/wife, take care of our house, me and yourself, I can't allow you to go around." -He spoke calmly, but seriously, and that was really his thought, he just wants you to be close to him, he is afraid, terrified, of losing you one day. -

Bi Han is insecure, even if he never admits it, he gets jealous very quickly, he knows that you are a beautiful person, so he knows that many ninjas lust after you, even though you are married to him, so please don't flirt with other men or women, this man is capable of crazy things and the silent treatment he will give you after that will be for an indefinite period of time.

You are always on his mind in every mission, Kuai Liang and Tomas sometimes notice their grandmaster looking into space and perhaps, a transparent smile appears quickly, while Bi-Han looks at the landscape on the horizon, thinking about you. "-I hope (Y/N) is okay" -He said to himself, shaking his head soon after and returning to the mission.

When he notices that you are sad he becomes worried, but he just crosses his arms under his chest, and looks at you waiting for an explanation for such behavior, if you are upset about something that someone from the Lin Kuei clan did to you, consider that person dead, your grand master husband will immediately leave the house forming a deadly ice dagger in his hand, returning some time later, with a determined and blood-stained look. "-Okay, wipe your tears, the problem has already been solved, let's have dinner." -He spoke seriously and calmly, as he wiped the blood from his hands on a cloth, heading to the kitchen with heavy steps and giving you a look, so you could follow him.

Bi-Han lies down on the bed next to you, but he can't sleep for several nights, he finds himself watching you, your face so peaceful next to him, the ninja monster of the lin kuei, you look so good and comfortable next to him, he really wonders why you married him, you deserve someone better.

He covers you more with the sheet, caressing your cheek lightly with his thumb, while whispering on rare occasions, that he loved you.

"-I really love you, you know that? I'm sorry I'm not the best man for you (Y/N), I really want you forever by my side, and I'll protect you from this world, whatever the cost, what do I do and for me and for you." -Bi Han told you while you slept, he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, while looking at the moon soon after, it would be another night that he would be haunted by his own demons.

Bi-Han's favorite couple's activity with you is strolling to a lake on the Lin Kuei clan's estate, sitting with you on the cool grass as the two of you watch nature, the swans on the lake, the cloudy sky announcing an upcoming rain. would soon come, the trees swaying to the rhythm of the wind, as Bi Han talked about his mother, he really loved her, and he is happy to see that you were really interested in listening, as he talked about childhood memories, making little sculptures of ice with his fingertips to represent the story he told, it's these moments with you that make everything he did, even the cruelest things, worth it.

He may not be loyal to the clan, but he is to you. He's the type that if someone comes at him, he has to be held back so he doesn't punch them for such audacity. Ex:

"-Bi Han, are you going to come with us-"

"-I'm a married man"

"-Bi Han, we just asked-"

"-I'm a married man, I told you." -He says pointing to the wedding ring and leaving. They were just going to ask him to drink a little, but as Bi Han said, he is a married man to you.

He doesn't like nicknames, only during sex, other than that he will call you by your name, or "my husband/my wife", he likes the idea of being called "husband" by you too, so if you If you refer to him like that, in public, he will melt inside, and smile slightly sideways behind the mask.

He is a wild man in bed, taking out his frustrations and anger on your beautiful pussy, mouth and body in general.

Bi Han loves blowjobs, if he could, you would be kneeling between his legs 24 hours a day, with your pretty face taking his entire cock in your mouth - I feel sorry for you dear, this man's cock is big and thick, he's literally going to hit it down your throat easily, leaving you breathless while your husband enjoys watching you choke on his dick like that -

He likes to degrade you in sex, it's a way for him to mark you as his and release his frustrations too, he will fuck you roughly, especially fucking you with his dick stuck in your pussy, with him lifting you easily while his hips they aggressively pound against your tight hole.

"-You're a great slut, you know? Taking my cock like a desperate bitch."

"-Oh fuck, you feel so good, don't you? Your pussy was made for me, the grand master lin kuei, and only mine, only I deserve you, do you hear? I'm just going to fuck that beautiful pussy until you can only think about how You want my dick inside you."

"-Do I really have a little whore as my husband/wife? How lucky for me then."

"-I'm going to fill you up... I'm going to fill that tight pussy of yours, and you want that, don't you? You want every drop of my cum, you're a hungry slut."

He loves to call you: "slut", "dirty bitch", "private whore", "nymph", "good boy/girl with a tight pussy". Most of the sex sessions you have with Bi Han end with him cumming on your face, pussy or belly, painting everything with his cum and leaving you panting with your legs shaking - for him, sex really is only good when you are weak from cumming on his dick, and overstimulated, with a swollen clitoris - He loves many sexual positions, but he prefers:

Cowgirl’s Helper: He likes to see you on top of him, your hands on his chest, while one of his hands squeezes your ass, and the other is behind his head. Bi Han watches you get impaled on his dick, stretching your pussy slowly, as your pussy drools on his pulsing dick, he looks at you, smiling smugly when he sees the rise of his dick in your womb. He would just groan in response to your desperate moans, watching your body move as you whimpered to cum - he wasn't going to let you cum yet, and if you did, he was going to punish the hell out of you, giving you at least five painful orgasms and pleasant that night -

Stand and Deliver: He loves seeing you bent over, your waist is sore from being bent over for him, but he loves seeing your ass and waist on top, thrusting into your pussy while pulling your hands behind your back, he would go so hard on your hole that your feet would leave the ground, you could feel the burn of the speed of Bi Han's dick in your pussy, but he wouldn't stop, he wouldn't stop until he left you a trembling mess full of cum - while calling you a desperate slut his cock -

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! 😊

I have a character with albinism in my story and I need help figuring out what to do about her photophobia. The setting is a medieval fantasy world and the character is a dragon.

The problem I'm having is that she's huge. She's probably around the size of a blue whale.

I was going to give her sunglasses, but they would be absolutely massive and extremely heavy, and I feel like the weight of the frame pressing down on her skin all day would probably be extremely uncomfortable or even cause skin damage. Also, the glasses would probably be really thick and I'm not sure if she would even be able to see through that much tinted glass?

I thought about a hat, but I'm not sure what it would be made out of. I feel like any sort of fabric at that size would just crumple under its own weight. I could have supports inside of it, but that would probably make it really heavy which wouldn't be good for her neck.

The only other thing I can think of is some sort of semi-transparent fabric veil that she can tie around her head that covers her eyes, but I know that trope is kind of iffy. Although I'm not sure if it would count since she's not legally blind (her vision is around 20/100. I think. Would vision measurments still work the same for someone with giant eyeballs? 🤔)

Is there anything else I can give her to protect her eyes that won't hurt her?

If it makes a difference there are two blind characters in the story who do not wear glasses of any kind, and another character with albinism who wears sunglasses and a hat.

Hello!

I believe I'm the only active mod with photophobia so I'll try answering, but keep in mind I'm neither blind nor do I have albinism.

So photophobia is a spectrum, right - it's really wide. On one end you have people who can't open their eyes because of the pain unless they're in a completely blacked-out room and on the other are people who kinda just push through it and don't bother with anything. There's a huge variety in severity. I was on both of these (plus everything in-between, plus non-photophobic at one point too) so I'll try to give you some ideas.

If she's on the first end, then well - close the eyes, and hopefully she has a sighted guide. Sunglasses don't help here anyway (source: experience) unless she'd have to wear them while closing her eyes because the tiny amount of light showing through a person's eyelids can still be painful (source: experience). A hat or a veil here would be like putting a bandage on someone who blew up. If she's permanently like this, she's functionally totally blind (but with some stereotypes that don't really represent all totally blind people - most of them don't keep their eyes closed 24/7).

If she's on the second end then I already kinda answered your question; Nothing is sometimes a solution. Same how not everyone with knee pain uses a cane, even if it technically could be of some benefit - too much hassle.

Now for the hard part: everything in-between these two. Since your character is somewhat logistically complicated due to both being a dragon and of that size, I'll try to think of the accommodations one can do with their body rather than external aids.

Squinting is a legitimate strategy. Is it great, not really. But it does work for a lot of people. You can squint your way through a lot.

Hand (claw?) to shield against the sun, same as above. Most people (IDK about dragons) don't sit around in bright sun all day, if you quickly have to go through an area like this you can just cover it.

Brow ridge (no idea what is the dragon equivalent) is a sort of built-in sun protection on its own to be honest. It's definitely not 100% for obvious reasons, but it does help against the brightest light sources. However, with her being a dragon this could be a legitimately successful solution - both Eastern Asian and European dragons tend to be portrayed with protruding parts above their eyes. Normally I'd say that it would be a bit of a cop-out, but as you say there is another character with the same disability, so I'm not worried here.

Last solution would be some sort of contacts. Obviously they didn't exist in medieval times, but there's a dragon there already so it's fine to get creative - could shed scales be thinned down and used as a block-out contact? Maybe some sort of mineral? Or leaves from a comically big tree? All of these would definitely hurt a human but again, dragon anatomy and how tough their eyes are is free to speculate about until something very unexpected happens.

Now for the rest;

Consider her lifestyle and where she physically lives. Is there a lot of sun there? Does she go outside during the day? Does she prefer winter over summer because she can go out more (and/or with less pain)? Not all photophobiacs will have the same kind of lifestyle and will thus need different accommodations; keep that in mind.

Hope this helps! Good luck writing disabled dragons

mod Sasza

[starberry-cupcake]

Welcome back!! I hope you're doing well and, if not, I hope my silly ramblings can make your day somewhat better, like the wildcats used to say: we're all in this together ♥

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

for those of you recently tuning in, this is the tag of all the ramblings

also, I'm officially in the sixth house now, palmolive can't stop me

CHAPTER 46

we're back inside the emperor's bolthole, which is infested

this is what happens when you have a lyctor orgy without the proper protection

gideon is doing her very best to fight the infestation of herald bees swarming and attacking her

she's in harrow's feeble small kitten baby body, so she's dying a lot

I'm gonna try to represent this visually

gideon keeps apologizing to harrow for getting her bits chewed off and her insides pouring out

and puts emphasis on things she wants harrow to remember

"I saw it eat your thumb—these details are important, so keep up with me—and your thumb was back in the next half minute"

"Child, that bee smashed you"

"I touched your intestines, which is usually what, fourth date"

me:

so, gideon takes off harrow's excess bones, which are no use to her, and goes further into the emperor's infested bolthole, where she finds mercygirl

mercygirl thinks gideon is harrow at first and, turns out, she was the one who stabbed her

these lyctors istg

can't trust any of them

mercygirl thinks harrow should be grateful that she stabbed her

and she was aware that harrow had "stuffed the soul of the cavalier in the back of her brain"

NOW WE'RE GONNA GET INTO SOME TERRITORY THAT MAKES ME GO ABSOLUTELY BERSERK, SO BEAR WITH ME

I NEED TO GET MY NOTES BACK FROM MY PREVIOUS RECAPS FOR THIS

she asks what happened with gideon's eyes and, as we have seen in the previous gideon-centric chapter, gideon's eyes are in harrow's face atm, if memory serves

"You're not her—she isn't driving you—but you have her eyes. Why? When they showed me your corpse I didn't think to check the eyes"

"I thought I knew what you were, though I didn't want to believe it..."

now listen, we're starting to tie some loose ends and some of those loose ends are linked very closely to my previous theories

I have been considering the Commander Wake is Gideon's Mom and Has a Personal Connection To Gideon The First and Is The One Connected With The Harrow Notes In Canaan AU for a while now

I need to link the specific recaps where I said this because I need to be transparent about where my brain was at

Evidence A, Evidence B, Evidence C, Evidence D

there's probably more but those are pretty clear

I swear to god if I was right about this I'm gonna screencap my own recap and put it here when the time comes

I've been marinating this one for months

I actually forgot how much of that I had written down in the recaps until I re-read them

mercygirl says that she thought the commander was a bad girl workaholic who put business before family, that she made her "the dolls" and she must have "played silly buggers with the emission" and that "gideon was on her tail"

"And then Gideon ruined everything. Then the commander ruined everything. Then you ruined everything. This could have been over eighteen years ago"

apparently gideon the first was "obsessed" with the commander, which accounts for some of the notes harrow read

I'LL GET BACK TO THAT WHEN WE GET TO THE SLEEPER, MY THEORIES CONTINUE

mercygirl starts calling gideon all sorts of names, including mutant, and keeps being bothered about her eyes

"Lipochrome. Recessive. You are the evidence. He lied to us...and you are all the proof I needed" "Cytherea would have known as soon as she looked at you"

is gideon the first gideon's dad??????? I mean, I always though he might have Something with the mom but my money was on gideon being made through science rather than Traditional Means

I mean, having lyctor genes in some way would account for gideon being a demigod, something I said with those words when I was reading gideon

also, remember when not!dulcinea told gideon she was prettier than the other gideon?? because I've never forgotten

mercygirl confirms that gideon the first was sent to kill gideon's mom

who, according to mercygirl, would have hated to be called a mom

mamá luchona intensifies

all of which aligns with my theory very nicely so far

she calls gideon more names, including "abomination, you heresy, you failed ambition nineteen years too late"

gideon reacts not wanting mercygirl to touch her instinctively

man, my theories are RIGHT THERE to be fully connected I'm BITING THE DESK

but there's no time for any more talk because mercygirl is trying to kill gideon in harrow's body

but she is stopped

she is shot

by not!dulcinea

but I don't think this is not!dulcinea, I previously mentioned her maybe being used by someone, not sure if it's possession or being used or what's going on but I don't think this is her

I thought about gideon the first being the one to do it but if he wanted harrow dead, I'm not sure he'd save gideon now

not!dulcinea says "with a tone that wasn't" hers: "goodbye"

gideon ends the chapter with "what the fuck is going on?"

CHAPTER 47

we're back at canaan au and it's time to perform an exorcism

harrow has a new note

I've been connecting those notes to gideon's mom possibly commander wake (as linked above)

the latest note continues to add to my theory

"end of the line. falling. oxygen can't last the distance and won't redirect power from the payload. instead I will make you watch every moment as I get the last privilege you cannot enjoy you bygone son of a bitch. I hope you're both as sorry as I am."

I still think this is gideon's mom because that's how she died, I mean, she got to the ninth in a suit without air and gideon still had some, allegedly

I've been thinking that one of the two people involved in the situationship triangle described in the notes was gideon the first, and that maybe the other was dr reverend emperor john

he's the most likely to be a bygone son of a bitch, so maybe I'm right

so, if harrow connects the notes with the spirit that's haunting her

and I'm connecting them to gideon's mom....

what if it's her that's haunting harrow?????

I mean, Waker

I NEED TO STOP GETTING INTO THEORY TANGENTS

anyway, all of the ghoulie ghostie friends are getting together for a sleepover exorcism

I didn't use this when I should have, back when the different aus were going by, but here it is

real!dulcinea says "Pal always said I'd be the death of him. And I was..."

he died being a weenie but he's not all the way dead, so it's fine

harrow questions why everyone wants to help her but everyone's totally fine with all this, for different reasons

real!dulcinea is "horny for revenge" (that's a tshirt for the seventh girlies right there)

protozoa is there because duty is his full personality

abby is really grateful to be asked to help (she also really likes tombs, very lara croft of her)

magnus loves his wife

ortus wants a redemption arc and now has a polycule

martita is behaving better than judith

abby asks harrow if there's anything she can remember from the slasher waker sleeper to try to pinpoint who tf it is

there's a suit, blood, a gun and gideon's sword, which is the only thing harrowcita recognizes and doesn't know where it comes from

my money is on gideon's mom, commander wake, probably also the woman in the shuttle poster that harrow saw but didn't recognize back when she met camilla

I'M PUTTING MORE CHIPS IN MY BETS EVEN IF I GET NO MORE INFO RN

harrow is very interested in how abby and magnus make it work as a married couple who are also a necro and a cav

I wonder why she's so interested

anyway, everything goes to shit on the exorcism

like, it goes really, really badly

group project off the rails bad

I mean, they didn't even have blood

apparently the spirit is also tethered to an object out there (the sword??????? possibly?????)

and she (she's a SHE) is pretty much invincible and shooting everyone and performing parkour while she's at it

harrow says camilla would be impressed, which is the highest praise

the sleeper waker slasher potentially gideon's mom (but not sure because it hasn't been confirmed yet) calls harrow by her name, but in a way that sounds like she's never said it before

she says it like a curse, which maybe means she knows, to some degree, how harrow was made????

she's basically doing whatever she wants over here, shooting ghosts, punching ghosts, throwing them around, regenerating, not bleeding, pulling guns out of thin air

I mean, ok, we got it, calm down lady

where was this energy when it was time to kill the emperor

she says there's "no magic" there and that "she's been doing this for years"

she wants harrow, so she can kill her and use her body to "finish it"

WHICH MAYBE MEANS KILLING THE EMPEROR???

OH MAN I DO WANT THAT TO HAPPEN

BUT NOT AT THE COST OF HARROW

also, mrs potentially gideon's mom, even if harrow dies, there's also gideon in the body right now so, it's a bit crowded atm

maybe find another way to kill the emperor

use not!dulcinea instead, if you can get the current tenant to leave

the chapter ends with: "ortus cleared his throat"

MAN, I HOPE HE DROPS SOME POETRY LINES, WE SURELY NEED THAT

and that's it for today!!!!!things are certainly heating up in the emperor's bolthole!!!! see you soon for the next installment, fingers crossed for my theories!!!

[alonetimelover]

pairing: Harry Styles x book writer!reader

fc: Saoirse Ronan

summary: YN just released her debut book, and it became the hot topic online. It might have something to do with certain someone being spotted buying it.

a/n: comments to all those posts are long, because i wanted to somehow incorporate the plot of the book that book writer!reader wrote!

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yourinstagram

liked by fallinloveinbooks, user49 and 89 202 others

yourinstagram Those are the notebooks in which I wrote my little baby. I can't believe I am typing this, but 'Silver Lining' is out !!! You can buy it at all independent London bookstores. I can't wait for your reviews. I'll read them all.

view all 8 201 comments

yourbestfriend MY BEST FRIEND IS AN AUTHOR !!! JANE AUSTEN WHO ???

⤷ yourinstagram do not disrespect the legend here

fallinloveinbooks OMG i've been following you since that one post about understanding fantasy world and being allowed to incorporate real world in it! i can't wait to read it, im going to the store right now!

⤷ yourinstagram YOU. ARE. THE. SWEETEST. and i remember you from that post and all that came after. I LOVE YOU and will wait for your words!

user92 what is the genre of the book?

⤷ yourinstagram it's fantasy! but there are a few subgenres. i'd say romance and mystery play a huge role in this book, too!

user109 will it be available online? im from us and would love to read your book!

⤷ yourinstagram unfortunately, not in a foreseeable future

⤷ user109 oh no, why??

⤷ yourinstagram being completely transparent, i released this book using my own money- no publishing house involved - because no one was really interested in it. what is in the stores is the printing i was able to afford. hopefully, they will sell and i'll be able to print more editions.

⤷ user102 im crossing my fingers for you

hArrysbtch i was looking for some new fantasy books, you are sent from heaven

⤷ yourinstagram hope you like it, angel

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, yourbestfriend and 80 393 others

harryupdates HARRY outside of the independent bookstore in London today! EDIT: because all of you are asking, he apparently bought 'Silver Lining' by YN YSN !

view all 2 202 comments

hArrysbtch I've just finished that book and OMG OMG OMG, i don't know what to tell you, but he's getting into something so beautiful so structured so sad, i can't say enough.

⤷ harrysmoustache so it's worth it?

⤷ hArrysbtch YES. YES. YES. absolutely. from the first page to the last, it just consumes you. yn did such a good job, and it's her first book ever!

⤷ harrysmoustache oh, i can't find it online

⤷ hArrysbtch it's only at independent bookstores in London. no publishing house was involved, she printed all the copies available with her own money. i can buy it for you and send it?

⤷ harrysmoustache i DMed you!

stylesbabie harry in his book girl era

harrysmylife he is back and he is reading, he's just like me

user102 there's no way he has that book and i don't

fallinloveinbooks I've read it, and I loved it. I hated it because of how much it made me cry. Harry, you're in for a ride a wild one with all the *wink*wink* scenes and the most heartbreaking chapters of literature I've ever come upon

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, yourbestfriend and 173 302 others

yourinstagram I cannot express how thankful I am for you and your love for my book. Unfortunately, for now, there are no copies available. But im trying to make it work. But maybe it wasn't meant to be...

view all 10 202 comments

yourbestfriend that's a bestseller book if you ask me

⤷ yourinstagram you are the love of my life

hArrysbtch not you using the last line of the book, like it didn't tear my heart open

hArrysbtch thank god it's already on my bookshelf, happy that it broke my heart and made me horny

⤷ yourinstagram Those were the emotions I wanted people to feel!

harrysmoustache my copy is flying to me, and I can't wait to read it

⤷ yourinstagram ill be waiting for your review!

user102 read, loved, cried and read again

⤷ yourinstagram two times??? i could smother you in kisses

⤷ user102 i wouldn’t mind that

user292 can't explain how unique and original it is

⤷ yourinstagram ❤️

user939 not harry lurking in the likes

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 128 402 others

harryupdates HARRY and writer YN YSN out and about in London today!

view all 6 080 comments

hArrysbtch Alexa play that should be me by Justin Bieber

hArrysbtch she's mine harry, fuck off

hArrysbtch what is it that whenever I find someone to obsess over they become somehow connected to harry

hArrysbtch but, i smell couple material !!!

harrysmoustache he's gonna be the inspiration spark

⤷ hArrysbtch don't even start! i read silver lining with Harry in mind as one of the main characters

⤷ harrysmoustache as Emrys, right?

⤷ hArrysbtch yes! my protective and sexy bookboyfriend

⤷ user102 I see, we support complicated men here, i love it

stylesbabie they look so good together

⤷ user02 their backs are towards the camera...

⤷ stylesbabie shhh

harrysmylife I love her style !!!!

user402 she's getting so much attention from it. how did she manage this pr?

⤷ hArrysbtch pr???

⤷ user402 don't tell me it doesn't look like one?

⤷ hArrysbtch yeah, I forgot. every woman harry is seen with is just pr or the one to hate. of course. tpwk does not include woman harry is involved with?

⤷ harrysmoustache burnt!!!

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bloomsbury

liked by yourinstagram, yourbestfriend, harrystyles and 40 492 others

bloomsbury Our newest pea in the Bloomsbury pod is the sweetest, London based, young author who has just published her debut novel. We are here to help and tell you that 'Silver Lining' is coming to all bookstores in the world and to online shopping as well on the 15th of November. To feel whole again.

view all 2 202 comments

yourinstagram I LOVE MY NEW POD

yourbestfriend DONT FORGET ABOUT ME WHEN YOU BECOME FAMOUS

⤷ yourinstagram NEVER

harrystyles Congratulations, YN ❤️

⤷ yourinstagram well, thank you, harry

hArrysbtch my favourite author is getting famous!!!

fallinloveinbooks I CANT BELIEVE IT !!! congrats, yn!!

⤷ yourinstagram thank you, sweets!

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fallinloveinbooks

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 6 492 others

fallinloveinbooks I'm attending YN's 'meet the writer' thingy in London and I cannot express how much appreciation I have for her. She thought every little detail in 'Silver Lining' through to make the book perfect. An icon!

view all 211 comments

hArrysbtch I am here too! And I love her so much!

harrysmoustache you need to either film some moments or just post-stream it for us!

stylesbabie she looks so beautiful

user102 I am here as well! we need to meet up!

⤷ hArrysbtch im in the second row!

⤷ user102 are you the one with a pixie cut?

⤷ hArrysbtch Yes, that's me!

⤷ fallinloveinbooks I think im sitting next to you, hArrysbtch

user42 come on guys, let us now what are the questions and answers!

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dailymail

liked by hArrysbtch, user102 and 103 393 others

dailymail NEW COUPLE ALERT? Harry Styles and newly established writer YN YSN were seen leaving the same restaurant (Styles a few moments after YSN). YN independently published her debut novel just two months ago and then signed a contract with Bloomsbury publishing house after Harry had been seen buying her book. For more photos and information, visit the link in our bio!

view all 19 302 comments

user102 not you making harry the only reason she got the contract

hArrysbtch she got a contract because of the interest her book sparked online, not harry

harrysmoustache i'll just leave it here but literally Neil Gaiman praised this book online

user402 oh yes, when the privilege is striking

user99 you just cannot stop taking photos of people in their free time, invading their privacy, can you?

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, yourbestfriend and 201 392 others

yourinstagram Somethin' is cookin'. And that's the audiobook of "Silver Lining" voiced by me! It will be available on 23rd of December as podcast episodes on Spotify for more of you to enjoy! Merry early Christmas!

PS: there may or may not be someone else to accord their voice to Emrys

view all 19 292 comments

yourbestfriend i could be Rhiannon

⤷ yourinstagram you were laughing your ass off after two lines

⤷ yourbestfriend not my fault that Rhiannon is the comedy queen

harrystyles 📖🎤

hArrysbtch NO WAY! i adore your voice and now i'm gonna picture you as Rhiannon - this book just became even better (it already was perfect, i don't how you're doing it"

⤷ yourinstagram hopefully, i won't end up as her

fallinloveinbooks my dream came true. i usually have such a hard time reading that audiobooks are the only option. now i'm going to listen to my favourite chapter over and over again

⤷ yourinstagram which ones are your favourite?

⤷ fallinloveinbooks definitely 6, 15, 24, 33 and 42

⤷ hArrysbtch all the chapters that depicts love - i see you

⤷ fallinloveinbooks yes! the thing is that number 6 refers to love and all those chapter number's are either 6 or add up to 6

hArrysbtch wait wait wait, i've just realised. what if harry is voicing Emrys????

⤷ harrysmoustache don't give me hope

⤷ fallinloveinbooks that would be perfect

⤷ user102 i'm not ready to listen to chapter 24 and 33 with him voicing it

⤷ hArrysbtch i will die, literally. those scenes are intense!

user102 she just wants people to be able to read the book and not care about paying bundle and having shitty quality. i love her.

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harrysupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, fallinloveinbooks and 109 393 others

harryupdates HARRY and YN at the market in Clonakilty, Ireland!

view all 6 001 comments

hArrysbtch someone tell me is that her home town?

⤷ fallinloveinbooks yes, it is! her parents still live there!

⤷ hArrysbtch meeting parents? oh god, they are serious serious

fallinloveinbooks they live that small town romance book lives

⤷ user102 so true! i need her to write something like this!

⤷ hArrysbtch i would eat it up

stylesbabie Niall is proud right now

harrysmylife i can't express how much i love domestic harry

user20 she started the thunder online after *possibly* announcing that harry will voice Emrys and decided to step away from socials. i love her. i love her. i love her.

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irishharry

liked by harryupdates, hArrysbtch and 23 403 others

irishharry How thin are the chances to meet Harry in a small Irish town? Very thin. But not thin enough to be impossible. I MET HARRY FREAKING STYLES AND THE LEGEND HERSELF YN YSN !!!

view all 2 022 comments

hArrysbtch they look so cosy... i want what they have

⤷ fallinloveinbooks a man?

⤷ hArrrysbtch yuck, i only like fictional men + harry

harrysmoustache this ken's job is walk

harryupdates this is very aestheticly pleasing photo

stylesbabie small town!harry is my favourite

user102 hopefully the inspiration is overflowing because i'm reading silver lining for the third time

��� hArrysbtch are you okay???

⤷ user102 nope. i just love torturing myself

fallinloveinbooks the matching coats...

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, yourbestfriend and 401 100 others

yourinstagram my love in your heart...

view all 14 292 comments

yourbestfriend answer my calls, yn !!!

⤷ yourinstagram i won't tell you

harrystyles ...my heart in your palm

hArrysbtch I LOVE THE SOFT LAUNCH

hArrysbtch PARENTS

harrysmoustache i love how we all know that this is harry but at the same time it doesn't have to be

⤷ hArrysbtch it better be! this post just cured all my mental problems

fallinloveinbooks the caption... is it the title?

⤷ user102 look at harry's comment, it might be a main thing in her next novel/short story collection

⤷ hArrysbtch the inspiration sparked and inspiration was harry. that's it. when it's published i can die happily

⤷ user102 decide, that or harry voicing Emrys

⤷ hArrybtch im chronically online, don't require any consistency from me

harryupdates vacation in a small irish town birthed some masterpiece, i just know it

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a/n: i have part 2 made in my mind already. do we want more of them?

[ara-the-great]

cruelty

(not edited or proof read)

Cruelty was a part of every human being. Sylus knew this the best. Whoever met him deemed him the cruelest of all, except you. except this tiny little woman of his. he knew that you knew what he had done and will continue to do as the leader of onychhinus and yet he sensed no fear, no deeming him as cruel- except a in the instances when he stole your ice-cream or withheld from kissing you . it didnt make sense to him. the only conclusion he could draw was you were the same as him. true kindred spirits. after all he noticed that you did not even blink at him leveling out buildings with people still in it. how you barely even looked away when he shoots someone dead. how for a moment there is a gleam of insanity in those mesmerizing eyes of yours. he wanted to bring it up, he wanted to see all of you so he stared taking you to more and more meetings and deals. waiting, craving to see that gleam in you.

he had thought his cruelty would repeal you, you lived a righteous life after all. you were a upstanding citizen, you didn't even have a speeding ticket. and yet he recognized that ember of insanity and cruelty in you. how? who? why? when?

"sylus, what are you thinking about with such a face?" you asked approaching him

"what ever do you mean?" he smiled trying his best to conceal his thoughts. he was sure you tell him or even better show him someday.

"you look like you are going to kill someone. if you keep furrowing your eyebrows like that you'll get permanent wrinkles and then everyone will be more scared of you" you teased as your fingers smoothed out his so called wrinkles.

"what can i do? I am scary my love. it comes with the job" he chuckled as he took your hands to press a kiss on your palms.

"really? you scary? i don't see it. i think you are absolutely beautiful " you said kissing the top of one of his eyes as you sat in his lap.

"don't go tonight. stay. stay with me. i promise ill make it worth your time" he husked as he nuzzled into your shoulder. his muscular arms wrapping around you. you were sylus's anchor, his peace, his light.

"you know i have work tomorrow sylus. i cant stay here"

"hmm then maybe i should go to linkon with you" he mused

"you know, you can't do that. plus don't you have a dealing tomorrow?" you laughed patting is back as consolation.

"maybe i should change my occupation. to hell with all this. I'll sell fruit in linkon and go by skye and maybe then i would not have to part with you" he kissed the pulse that seemed to quickened with his words almost drunk off of your scent. "would you like that?" seeming absolutely serious.

"S-sylus you know you cant "

"would you like that though? just imagine you'll have me beside you every morning and every night." he said dragging his mouth from neck to the corner of your mouth.

"i wouldnt be so cruel to make you give up all that you have built with you own hands"

"oh sweetie, be as cruel as you like, you know i like it when you are cruel . if you asked me to build an empire from nothing, id do it for you a thousand times over. use me but just stay by me. that's all." he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. he could practically feel how pleased the thought made you. "plus cruelty suits you more than you think"

"what is that supposed to mean?" you didnt know whether to be offended or flattered

"it means i have seen the way your eyes shine with excitement whenever we are..... ruthless" he grinned finally finding the opportunity to bring it up

" What? You could tell? Im i that transparent? what can i say there is a strange beauty in it i suppose. It's also morbidly satisfying to see them beg after they insult us for no reason." you laughed. never thinking you'd be able to say it out loud.

"then why dont you accompany me to the deal tomorrow there is sure to be some action. i'll let you have your fun" he said leaning in to kiss you

"Omg would you really let me? such a generous offer who knew that mr. leader of onychinus was such a sweet lover" you teased as you kissed his cheeks in excitement unintentionally missing his kiss.

"And who knew ms. hunter was such a cruel woman?" he frowned clearly displeased by his stolen chance to kiss your lips

"shh its my secret to you" you pecked his lips with a laugh that rang trough his ears like twinkling fairy bells.

"and my sweetness is my secret to you" he said deepening your kiss.

[bird-inacage]

Love Sea Episode 10 | The Fight (Micro-expressions + Mini Meta)

Peat and Fort did brilliantly in this scene. I wanted to pick out some of their micro-expressions to analyse in more detail.

1 - Just after Mut tells Rak he loves him, he's visibly taken aback, he looks crushed and frantic and helpless - 'Why did you have to get your feelings into the open? Why couldn't we have continued to play house without me having to confront my feelings? Why?' Rak is confused and crestfallen as to why Mut has chosen to shatter the bubble they've been existing in. Why is this necessary?

2 - Mut can't help his frustration. He's decided to put all his cards out on the table, and still Rak is choosing avoidance, to deny, to hide, to escape. Mut's played along until now, but he's so sick and tired of it. His attempts to be fully transparent, always lead to a rebuttal, Rak's unwillingness to concede, to compromise. Mut's anger comes from a place of 'you leave me no choice'.

3 - You can hear the gears grinding in Rak's brain when Mut reiterates that he was never after the money. His mind is going into overdrive. He's questioning. He's thinking 'but this isn't possible'. Despite being aware of Mut feelings, he can't face them because it forces him to recognise his own. And he just can't, he's scared shitless and he just doesn't know how.

4 - Just after Mut says 'let me love you', you can see the intensity of compassion and concern flit across his face. He softens. His eyes are searching, wanting. He so badly needs Rak to open up to him fully. There's hope and vulnerability - 'please accept my love, please. I'm trying so hard, I'm trying. Give me something, anything.'

5 - Rak is fighting with himself. He's conflicted, guilty, torn that he's been put on the spot against his will. He's dealing with the realisation that he will hurt Mut, and he doesn't have the stomach for it. You can see the second he decides to muster up the courage, decides to do the cruel but necessary thing. In this moment, Rak's fight or flight response is telling him to choose himself, which means he has to hurt Mut instead. It's the only way. 'You forced my hand'.

6 - Mut doesn't often exhibit outbursts of hurt but he does here. He's incensed. Rak's callousness is insult to injury. 'Perhaps you were never capable of loving me, but don't throw my love for you back in my face'. I think Mut is also making a last ditch effort to emphasise that he's not going to change his mind. Once his feelings are out there, that's it. Regardless of whether Rak loves him back or not, it doesn't change how he feels. This is the power of his conviction.

7 - This is super subtle, but you see the light diminish from Rak's eyes. He almost goes lifeless from the inside out. He deflates. Any active turmoil that was there is now replaced by resignation, by acceptance. It's sinking in what he's done and the realisation there's no going back and he has to make peace with it.

8 - Mut's final retort is painfully self-deprecating, that little chin tilt of 'How foolish I was to think I could have nice things. You've just proved to me once again how asking for things only indicates how wildly undeserving I am. I know my place, and that's where I'll return to'.

[mclalan]

What art program do you use? sorry if you already answered something like this but im so mesmerized by the techniques you use in your art.

Thank you. No need to apologise; I don't mind answering this question because it's an excuse to walk through my latest image!

The concept for this piece is based on being perceived online through interpretations of posts and artwork, yet how artificial this can be. The relationship the viewer forms is more with the narrative of the work, and any insight into the artist through this feels highly awkward to me, which is precisely what I want to explore with this piece.

In this example, I wanted an attractive sitter to look like someone out of a new romantics music video or like an Enya video, because this genre and era of media is very aesthetically pleasing and nostalgic for me. I hold it as an unobtainable ideal— a hauntology. So, as wonderful as it is, it equally feels shameful and perverse because it's an aesthetic object of desire that I am contriving.

The sitter is holding one of my cartoon characters, Lauren Ipson, the protagonist of my Ersatz world project. A trope in writing is when a character acts as a self-insert of the author, and I'm conscious to try and avoid that with Lauren. I try to write Lauren as dry and sardonic yet also fun, dramatic, and friendly. I don't think of these as personal qualities of my own, but I imagine personal qualities bleeding into fictional characters is inevitable.

Yet Lauren Ipson feels much more alive a character to me compared to any attempt at self-portraiture or self-expression that I've done, which is very little because I'm not interested in constructing a perceivable identity. (I'm aware this text itself can be interpreted as self-expression; however, to me this is just another construct.)

So Is the sitter meant to be me, controlling Lauren? I'm definitely baiting the viewer to think this, and you can interpret it that way if you want, but really I don't think of the sitter as me at all. My intention is to show how it's all a facarde. The sitter is basically just as much a doll, a puppet, a mannequin as Lauren Ipson is, if anything more so.

There's a deliberate irony between Lauren's cartoon rendering and the sitter, who I wanted to render with more detail and evoke a modernist style. I'm inspired by Hans Bellmer and Dorothea Tanning with their work with dolls. However, despite that implied visual hierarchy, the more detailed sitter shares a similar, stilted vector construct to Lauren. They're both born from vector drawing after all. And it's further undermined with the way Lauren the doll looks directly at the viewer, as if she's alive, while the sitter looks to the side with a blank, almost dead-in-the-eyes expression.

Anyway, with that in mind, almost all of my work starts as a thumbnail sketch. Although I often draft digitally and am fine with doing that, I feel more confident doing it freehand on paper. Digital rendering feels more like a refinement process to me. Funnily enough, although I often prefer to sketch with physical materials, I'm anxious of refining or rendering with them.

I like my designs to be very direct and conceivable, so a solid silhouette, pose, negative space etc. I often create a quick digital sketch with this in mind, either by tracing or referencing the thumbnail, although sometimes I skip this step and go straight to the rendered drawing. The aim is to establish a visual guide, dividing the drawing into various shapes for digital airbrush rendering later on.

With this composition, I made a second draft with more attention to details such as the face, hands and feet. Sometimes I'll use photo references if I'm struggling with posing or anatomy. These drafts are often blue because it's easier to render the black linework over a transparent blue sketch.

The chair took some time but was relatively simple to render. It uses the line tool set to magnetic anchor point, following two-point perspective vanishing points. I like two-point perspective because it feels sort of digitally native to me to have these impossibly perfect vertical lines. I also know the horizon line should be at eye level or something, but I just like the idea of the top of the chair to be perfectly horizontal.

Here I'm drawing the final rendered form. I use the stroke tool with it set as smooth as possible. Often I'll redraw lines over and over if it means getting certain curves to look right. Once the lines are drawn, I'll fill them in and remove the stroke, leaving just the solid vector shape. The shade of grey I use is done to simply denote the shape. It does not represent any kind of shading or anything; in fact, when I bring it into Photoshop, all these shapes are set to the same shade, but if I had that here in Animate as I'm drawing, it would be impossible to see what I'm doing. The red background is just for clarity.

Once it's all drawn, I'll make sure every shape is clean, overlapping nicely, and divided into its own layer. A composition can often be comprised of hundreds of separate shapes.

Each shape will be its own layer in Photoshop, which will operate as a clipping mask. The clipping masks act like masking tape or shielded off areas for soft brush opacity rendering, similar to the soft atomised rendering from an airbrush, just done digitally.

I follow very rudimentary painting techniques of simple shading, lighting, and bounce-back highlights. I follow a simplified Grisaille technique, focusing on strong values in greyscale before adding a wash of colour with a color gradient map set to layer style color. Sometimes my values can be a little off, but as long as the values are all consistently acting together, I can correct them with transparent washes or color curves. If the greyscale looks harmonious with all the forms clear, colour will likely work.

Proper digital painters will say this is an amateur process, with results that look mechanical and stiff, as colours in the real world all bounce together off different surfaces, resulting in colour harmonies. However, I don't mind the inharmonious nature of the colours, as I find the values give the composition enough harmony. I'm working digitally, so why go to all the effort to make it not look digital? It's interesting to me to have the red chair look blindingly red, the green skirt look blindingly green.

Colours can look boring without some form of harmony though, so I will add in blue-greens with the darker areas, more turquoise greens towards the highlights.

Skin tones are far more complex, however, as it's something that's more informed by realism. This is why kigurumi dolls with their plastic flesh look so artificial to the eye, because we're familiar with how light passes through flesh and skin and all the subtleties of colour that it picks up. This piece is the first time I've explored flesh tones, as typically I avoid all this by rendering skin as grey porcelain.

I needed to really up the contrast, with shaded areas becoming purples and highlights verging on washed out. Areas with more blood, like feet and cheeks, appear more orange and red. Areas closer to bone and cartilage, like the bridge of the nose, can look almost blue and green. Exploring these colour values and tints in the aim of natural tones was fun to do, and ironic given how blank the face is.

Although in the moment I feel very much like I'm rendering a realistic reality, when I step back, I'm reminded how stylised and unrealistic the painting actually is. It looks kind of insane, like everything is so uniform and overtly saturated. It doesn't feel present in a real space, despite the shadow and form implies one. But I'm not consciously thinking of these things, of style, as I'm working. To me, it's a process of world-building and problem-solving.

[lynnsenpai]

Artist Goals 2025

I make these lists of artist goals every year. Unfortunately, if I'm being honest with myself, I rarely achieve the goals I set. Maybe I'm asking too much of myself. Maybe life stuff is sidetracking me more than I intend or expect. Maybe I just don't know how to set goals.

When I look at the lists I've whipped up for past years, I see incredibly productive years. It's like all the best case scenarios - what I wanted those years to be. But if I can be completely transparent for a moment, I've been having a rough time behind the scenes a lot lately. Family stuff. Money stuff. Health stuff. Political stuff. I have no lack of ambition and interest to work on the things I love, but I can't deny I struggle to keep up more than I'd like.

I've tried to keep all this in mind this year. It still sounds like a lot, but I want very much to believe this is reasonable. I guess we'll know for sure in about 365 days. But to tell the truth, as long as I get to draw Chiaki and Rain and their friends (and maybe some rat doodles along the way), I'll be happy. I just want to keep drawing all my kids and telling their stories and sharing them with you, so it's what I'm going to keep trying to do.

I promise to do my best, so wish me luck! ^_^

And I hope the best for you all in your own endeavors in the coming year. Stay safe, stay happy, stay healthy.

[rootspiral]

hi, hello!! i absolutely adore your deep dive series into the aaa episodes, and i was wondering if you could/would feel like expanding further into agatha’s guilt towards wanda and all the emotion she shows in the first episode, when she sees wanda’s corpse? the way agnes seems to value human life is especially interesting to me, considering how much agatha has killed (and i understand agnes is a character in what’s supposed to be a very stereotypical detective series, but i remember how you said agnes is in some ways agatha at her most transparent). anyways, i thought i’d try to pick your brain a little more on the subject, because your takes are very interesting to me!

Hi hello to you, thank you for stopping by! And also thank you for your interesting question, consider my brain officially picked. I'm gonna ramble QUITE a bit because I want to talk about Agatha and misogyny first (as requested by @leoleolovesdc ) but hold in there, I'll get to wanda too.

To get to the point directly, I think that Agatha's actions are steeped in internalized misogyny, and I think it's something she inherited from her mother and the salemites. It's actually pretty common for marginalized communities or individuals to turn against their own and replicate the patterns of the oppressor, looking to ease their self-hatred or for outside acceptance or a sense of control. Think for example about super conservative wives voting against their best interests, think about all the homophobia and biphobia and transphobia and acephobia (etcetera etcetera ad infinitum) in the queer community.

The persecution of witches was essentially a war on a kind of womanhood that went against imposed gender norms. Witches (in the marvel universe and in real life) were more often than not women who lived independently, who knew herbs, who didn't marry, who worked as midwives etc. And talking about the salemites specifically and the way they treated Agatha: they did to Agatha what the external world did to them, they replicated a pattern. They targeted the odd one out, the woman in their group who was the most different, and called her evil and essentially tried to burn her at the stake.

We don't know a thing about evanora, but I would BET that a lot of her hatred stems from her own internalized misogyny / agatha being born female, and I honestly wonder if Agatha would have found it harder to love a daughter the same way she does Nicky or Billy, without any of her internalized bias kicking in. Since she was a kid Agatha had been hurt and persecuted by other witches, she's pretty much wired to mistrust and hate them. And it gets even more muddled and complicated because she hates witches but loves witchcraft, she hates women but is sexually and romantically attracted to them. She yearns to belong, but she ends up torturing and killing her own community. She allies with people like that disgusting prick who violated Jen.

Enter Wanda, who is essentially Agatha 2.0: she was born doomed by the narrative or, to say it like evanora, she was born evil. Evanora would have had a FIELD DAY with Wanda. The Scarlet Witch? The destroyer of universes? She would have tried to kill her on the spot. There is A LOT Agatha instinctively hates in Wanda, she's a woman, she's a witch, she's dangerous. Agatha does what the salemites did to her and what men did to witches: she replicates a pattern. She punishes Wanda for being too alone and too different and complicated and scary. And yes Agatha is doing it to get her hands on chaos magic and all that comes with that, but this is all the baggage she brings in.

There's the other side of the coin: Agatha hates women and witches, Agatha loves women and witches, and Agatha hates and loves Wanda. She's been essentially killing and running away for the past two centuries, refusing to dwell on the consequences of her actions, but we know that she is no unfeeling psychopath, that's just a role she plays. We know all her actions weigh on her. With Wanda that sense of guilt is even stronger because Wanda is not a random witch she kills and abandons in the woods, she has to live with her and witness all of Wanda's pain up close, how lonely she is, how scared she is, the grief of losing Pietro and Vision, it's all there to torment Agatha. She cannot be a child about it, she can't close her eyes and cover her ears and go lalala until it's over, she has to take it all in order to get what she wants. And what's worse, Wanda is so similar to her that Agatha can picture exactly what she's feeling down to her bones, that's empathy to the max. And she goes through with her plan and does horrible things to Wanda anyway.

Knowing Agatha like we know her now, I'm convinced that her guilt about Wanda is especially hard to deal with, but Agatha has always refused to deal with any of her inner struggles, so Wanda just goes on the pile together with all the painful and complicated feelings she's pointedly ignoring, and which are not haunting her at all, thank you very much!

Except when she's Agnes, because all the feeling are still there but she doesn't know where they come from. I'd say that more than transparent Agnes is unfiltered, she doesn't know she should censor her struggles like Agatha does. Based on Agnes, we can plainly see what the biggest issues on her Inner Pile of Shit and Sorrow are: grief over Nicky's loss, anger and yearning for Rio, extreme loneliness, and guilt over those she hurt, with a particular emphasis on Wanda.

[loverdude]

HELLO! I've finally remade/updated my commission sheets! For the most part everything should be the same, except for my Ko-Fi username which is now lampscapes! I just wanted an updated version with more recent art examples, and different colors :] I've also been really fussing around with usernames and stuff lately and trying to pick a new one (to replace loverdude), so I just titled these with "Eddy's Commissions" instead!

I'm going to be finally graduating from college soon here, and I'm hoping to maybe make at least some money on commissions once I'm done :3 On top of rent/food/gas/etc I will also need to start paying off loans...

STATUS: OPEN

Half-body, full color: $35 USD, there are 5 slots open.

Full-body, full color: $55 USD, there are 5 slots open.

Full color icons: $15 USD, there are 4 slots open.

Full-body, full color, cute/chibi: $25 USD, there are 4 slots open.

I’m doing the commissions through Ko-fi!: https://ko-fi.com/lampscapes

There is more information on there! If you are interested, please email me at cupidartkofi@gmail.com to tell me about your request first! You can also email me there if you have any questions!

I also recently added all my past commissions to my gallery on my Ko-Fi if you want to see some more examples! Plus there's also my art-only Tumblr to look at as well! (If you've commissioned me in the past and want me to remove your commission from my gallery, please let me know and I'll remove it ASAP!)

Please share if you want and can, and want to help support a neurodivergent trans artist :] Here is a link to the info on Twitter if you want to help me spread info there too!

The detailed info provided in these photos is under the cut in typed format:

NOTE: 1-2 characters only, no extra charge for 2nd character

WILL DRAW: original characters, humans, furries, couples, MLP:FIM-style ponies*, fanart

WON’T DRAW: NS.FW, hateful content, mecha/armor, super-detailed designs or backgrounds, gor.e (blood is ok!)

*not edits, still my own art style

Some of what I will or won’t do is subjective and it will just depend! I have the right to decline any commission request.

BACKGROUNDS: I can make the background transparent, a solid color, or something with simple and colorful patterns and shapes like hearts, flowers, clouds, stars, moons, etc.

PAYMENT: I’m doing my commissions via Ko-fi! My username is lampscapes. Please email me at cupidartkofi@gmail.com before commissioning via Ko-fi, so you can run your idea by me first and we can discuss it!

OPTION 1: $35 USD, half-body, full color, examples

OPTION 2: $55 USD, full-body, full color, examples

OPTION 3: $15 USD, full color icons, examples

OPTION 4: $25 USD, full-body, full color, cute/chibi

One other note: my art varies a lot in style, so if there's a certain style you're hoping for (different brushes I've used, more smooth or rough lineart, etc) please let me know! An example of one of my previous drawings would be much appreciated if so :]

And that’s all! Thank you so much!

[echo-and-dust]

now that my brain has somewhat unscrambled itself i have gotten most of my thoughts in order about season 3.

and the first thing i will say is: i loved it.

while it was gutwrenching and polarizing in some ways and i feel that i am entitled to financial compensation for what its done to my mental health, i loved this season for pretty much almost everything it did.

i cannot fault people for having issues with much of the characterization and plot choices made—that’s been the trend during the entire run of the show after all, and imo it’s a testament to the phenomenal way it generates nuance—but i wanted to share my feelings on the recurring opinions i’ve seen about some of these things.

first, i do not blame simon at all for the things he said in the final scene. he’s a child who has been receiving endless verbal and physical harassment on top of all the trauma he is still trying to heal from. he just watched his boyfriend lash out in anger and hurt—while not at him, but it must’ve been a close resemblance of how he might’ve seen micke act. at least, that's what i thought, though i've seen others say otherwise.

and yes, wille is not micke, but just because wille’s source of outbursts is different from micke’s doesn’t mean simon is wrong in drawing similarities. at least he's finally getting a true glimpse into what wille has had to deal with. i've honestly grown to like that they didn't have simon immediately comfort him though; wille's mental illness is not his fault, but it is his responsibility, and instead of pushing a message of unhealthy co-dependence, the show has simon be honest: "but i see that everything hurts you and that hurts me too." and to me, that's so important.

plus, it doesn't make their love any less genuine. wille is a victim of the circumstances; he is not evil, and he is not undeserving of simon. he just has a lot of growing and healing to do, a lot of unlearning and exposure therapy because he's still blinded by privilege even when he tries not to be.

speaking of, i have so many thoughts about wille that i feel like i need to save for its own separate post, but to sum them up: i'll still defend him with my life, and he needs to get the fuck away from that institution.

also, the fact that the responsibility of controlling simon's media decisions was placed solely on wille confused me at first like—why wouldn't they get a professional to give him proper media training?

then i realized, this could be the royal court's way of sabotaging their relationship. they knew that making wille the one to tell simon what he can and cannot say or post would create distance and animosity between them. despite the ramifications of simon's behavior on social media, it seems they still thought it best to have his boyfriend be the one to try to mold him into the system. because they knew that's how they could get rid of him. in conclusion, fuck the royal court (we been knew but still).

one of the standouts this season was their transparency regarding the show's politics. it not only works well with the show's arc (wilmon is public, everything's out in the open now and there's nothing to hide), but also it felt necessary at a time where censorship has been rapidly gaining momentum. it felt so refreshing for these characters to talk so openly about racial discrimination and queerphobia and class disparities, forcing both character and viewer to acknowledge that they exist and you should feel uncomfortable about it.

i don't think i can add much more to what was already said about it—most of the fandom is more eloquent and observant than i am anyway—i just wanted to reinforce how important this season is to myself and the story even with how controversial it is to fans right now. a lot of people may disagree with me and that's fine.

[librarycards]

hello! i apologize in advance this is probably something that you get asked a lot. but do you have any recs on literary magazines to submit to? im a trans poet, ive been writing for over a decade but never shared anything and ive been wanting to try to send my stuff to get it published somewhere. obv ive been google searching but theres so many big and small publications and i was wondering if you have ones you like especially and/or tips on how to choose a magazine/journal to submit to. thanks a lot! <3

no worries, thank you for reaching out!! i've been publishing for like 8 years + an editor for almost 4, so i always appreciate the opportunity to help people new to the world find ethical publications that will treat their work with the care it deserves.

first and foremost: there are going to be pubs out there that are awesome and i don't know about. you may be the one to discover them for yourself! one aid in finding the best mag for your work is the wonderful, writer-created chillsubs. it's a fantastic platform that keeps a huge list of mags and presses and their relevant stats, and lets you create an account and bookmark those you're interested in. everyone i know uses them, and it's very worth it given the sheer volume of mags out there.

i also have some recs of my own, ofc. i'm going to list them below. if they pay (which i prioritize) I'll mark them with a $. some are trans/queer focused and some aren't, but all are pubs i've either edited and/or published with and can confirm their ethics + respect for writers.

manywor(l)ds - my mag! i'm co-founder and eic. break genre _ shapeshift with us. ($)

Sinister Wisdom - old, well-regarded lesbian+ lit mag, now open to everyone who is/loves a dyke. I'm guest-editing an issue on Madness with them, now open for submissions!

fifth wheel press - run by a beloved friend and comrade of mine. i've published here. excellent transparency, care, great for first-timers. ($).

kith books - headed by trans literary icon kat blair. a mag/press/community centered around bodymind non-conformity and noncompliance.

Honey Literary - QTPOC-centered, unabashedly pop-culture + social justice oriented. the vibes are simply immaculate.

Whale Road Review - not queer/trans focused, more oriented toward....'grown up' poetry/prose/pedagogy papers. Katie Manning (eic) is a fucking gem.

Graphic Violence Lit - just had my first experience publishing with them, and their care + consideration for the whole writer is amazing. they publish boundary-pushing work.

beestung - one of the brainchildren of Sarah Clark. nb/gq/2s SFF. I just edited a few guest issues w them and have published with them. amazing work. ($)

A Velvet Giant - genrequeer work. the editors are experienced, enthusiastic, and amazing at promoting writers long after publication. it's a family! ($)

Ethel Zine + Press - handmade with love by Sara Lefsyk (as you can see, trans/nonbinary/2s sarahs dominate indie publishing, as well we should :3). Sara is a sensitive and care-full editor and bookmaker whose every publication is a work of art.

Protean - pro- as in proletariat. awesome left mag with a mix of politics and culture and everything in between. they take reprints! ($)

Mudroom - publish your work along with a picture of your mudroom/shoe rack. very responsive editors who will hype you tf up. ($)

The Institutionalized Review - for psych survivors. the editors concreteness of vision and dedication to their community know no bounds.

Just Femme + Dandy - queer and fashion-focused! led by the inimitable Addie Tsai. They pay *handsomely*. ($)

In addition, there are also some "big" mags I have had excellent experiences publishing with and wanted to shout out. These are harder for a beginner to break into, but worth keeping on your radar + have been fantastic to me as a writer.

Electric Lit

Split Lip Magazine

The Offing

Nat. Brut

Santa Fe Writers' Project

Bodega

New Orleans Review

Augur Magazine

I hope this is helpful to you + others! the literary world is ever-changing and this is just a snapshot. Hopefully you find some that you like!

[judesmoonbeauty]

Ghost House Report: A Requiem For You - Jude Jazza Premium End

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. If you'd like to be added to my translations tag list, please comment below.Thank you, for you support! ☾.

CW: Corpse, Death.

Anne: I couldn't keep my promise to my papa to be a good girl and wait for him...

Anne looked down at her corpse and muttered to herself.

Jude: Anne, ya turned into a ghost ‘n waited for him…….It was your father that didn’t keep his promise.

Anne: You’re wrong! My papa never breaks his promises!

Anne: I’m not lying to you, Cross my heart and hope to die,

Anne: stick a needle in my eye. ……that’s what he promised!

Anne: Someday, he’ll definitely come to pick me up……!

Kate: Anne……

Anne probably loves her father and wants to tell him that.

However, the mansion's investigation records did not contain any reports of girls going missing in the past.

Objectively speaking, her father did not come to pick her up, nor did he look for Anne, who died here.

Anne: But……I’m tired of waiting.

Kate: What……?

Anne: I’m talking about my papa, but I’m already dead and I can’t leave the mansion……

Anne: ……Since I’m tired, I think I should give up.

Kate: That……

Jude: …………

Anne: Miss Kate and Mister Jude’s coming here may be a good chance.

Anne: Now at the end, thank you for the fun memories……

Smiling sadly, Anne gradually disappears.

(Anne will disappear just like this……?)

(She waited and waited and waited for her father, but he never showed up……)

(….I can't overlook such a sad ending!)

Kate: Wait!

I stretched out my hand towards Anne as she disappeared.

Anne was surprised by my voice that held her back, and her transparent body gradually returned to normal.

Kate: I'll find your father and bring him to you, so please wait until then.

Judging from the condition of her body, Anne must have been dead for decades.

If it was that long ago, we wouldn't know if Anne’s father was still alive.

But, I couldn't leave Anne alone, who had kept waiting for her father.

Kate: Jude, quit being silent and say something!

Jude: …..? What?

Kate: I’ll let you meet your father. Jude, that’s what you promised.

For a while now, Jude hasn’t been acting like Jude.

Even though he usually places so much emphasis on keeping his promises,

When Anne grew tired of waiting and tried to disappear, he didn't try to stop her.

Kate: Are you willing to break your promise? Are you giving up before you take action? That Jude!**

Jude: ……What’s that, ya tryna provoke me by givin’ me a bad name?

Kate: Yes, I’m provoking you!

Kate: Usually, you’ve would’ve dragged the father over here.

(I don't know what killed Jude's spirit.)

(……But in order to find the father, I need Jude’s help.)

I thought I had to do something to get Jude motivated, so I went for it.

Jude: ……Ha. Seems like you’ve started sayin’ some pretty big things.

Kate: Sorry……but, I won’t take it back. Because right now these are the words you need, Jude.

When I finished speaking, Jude finally gave me his usual cruel smile.

Jude: —Anne. As she said, I never break my promises.

Jude: As promised, I’ll letcha meet your father.

Anne: ……Really? I’ll be able to meet my papa?

Anne: Ah! I’m a ghost, but I won't curse you two just because you broke your promise to bring my papa.

Kate: ……That’s not it. We’re not keeping our promise because we’re afraid of you being a ghost, Anne.

I didn't want Anne to cry, I wanted her to have hope, so I promised her that I would let her meet her father.

I simply wanted her to meet her father.

Kate: I’m keep my promise not because I'm afraid of being cursed, but because I want to do something for you.

Anne: …….,Thank you. Miss Kate and Mister Jude.

Jude: Now to set a date for the meet up.

Anne: ……date? .......

Jude: The point of when the promise is fulfilled.

Jude: Anne, remember. When ya make an agreement like this, ya hafta to be very clear ‘bout the terms.

Jude: Didn't ya hafta wait for years?

Anne: ……Yeah.

Anne: Papa said he would come, but it was really hard to wait for a promise that I didn’t know when it would come true.…..

Jude: ……I understand.

(Jude……?)

Jude: If ya can wait that long, be patient a lil longer.

Jude: I’ll definitely return, so be a good kid ‘n wait.

Anne: Yeah……!

Leaving Anne at the mansion, we finished the investigation and returned to Crown Castle.

Kate: Jude, let’s look for Anne’s father right away!

Kate: I'm going to ask Victor now for permission to view past records—

Jude: No, I’ve already found her father.

Kate: Huh…….already?!

Jude: The necklace hangin’ on Anne’s neck.

Kate: Ah, it’s Anne’s mother’s necklace.

Kate: She said she secretly took it from her Father……

Kate: …….Yeah? Come to think of it, you were also looking for a necklace.

Kate: Maybe it's the necklace that Anne was wearing.…..

Jude: T’was the same necklace I was asked to look for.

Jude: The wealthy ol’ man who asked me to find the belongin’s would be Anne's father.

Jude: Gonna leave ‘n see ‘im soon. Get depressed ‘n I’ll leave ya behind.

We traveled by carriage and arrived at the mansion of the wealthy man.

Wealthy Old Man: Don’t you think it’s rude of you to ask for me this late at night?

Jude: I finished looking for the belongings that were part of the conditions set for the land sale. I’d like you to check it out as soon as possible.**

Wealthy Old Man: You’ve found my wife’s belongings?! I guess it can’t be helped……

Jude: Here it is……Take it, and look it over.

Wealthy Old Man: Let’s see.

The old man takes the necklace from Jude, and carefully inspects it.

(This person is Anne’s father. ……He looks to be around 80 years old.)

(……Anne had been waiting for a long time.)

When I think about Anne waiting for her father in that gloomy mansion, my heart breaks.

Wealthy Old man: ……This is my wife’s necklace. You found it for me.

Jude: About that, there’s something I’d like to tell you.

Jude: I'd like to speak to you at the location where the necklace was found... Would you mind coming?

Wealthy Old Man: That haunted house... my wife's precious belongings have finally returned. I don’t mind if it’s just for a little while.

While occasionally lending a shoulder to the crippled old man, we brought him to the hidden room in the haunted mansion.

Wealthy Old Man: We’ve come this far. Can you tell me the story now?

Jude: Yes. By all means……talk to her.

Wealthy Old Man: Her……?

The old man looked up, and there stood Anne.

Anne: Papa……!

Even though he's gotten older and his appearance has changed, Anne seems to still recognize her father.

She happily jumped onto the old man.

Wealthy Old Man: C-could this be……Anne……?!

Anne: Yeah! You finally came to pick me up as promised……!

Wealthy Old Man: Promise……

Anne: I believed you! That you’d come for me, Papa!

The old man who had a look of shock on his face didn't hug Anne back.

Anne: ……Papa, I have to apologize for something.

Anne: The day I said goodbye to you, Papa, I had taken mama’s necklace. Can you forgive me?

Wealthy Old Man: Oh, oh, of course........I also have to apologize to you, Anne.

Anne: About being late to pick me up? That’s okay! After all, you came to pick me up properly!

Anne: Thank you, Papa. I love you very very much……

Anne: And then….Miss Kate, Mister Jude. Thank you for bringing my papa.

Anne smiled happily and disappeared with a light.

Jude: ……So? What on earth were ya doin’ waitin’ until ya were this ol’ to come ‘n get her?

Wealthy Old Man: Well, that's... I was looking for Anne, who disappeared after I sold her to the owner of this mansion.

Jude kicked a chair in the room as if to interrupt the old man's words.

Wealthy Old Man: Eek!

Jude: All ya asked me to do was search for your wife’s belongins’…...

Jude: Ever since ya sold Anne to the owner of this mansion, ya ain’t ever looked for her.

Wealthy Old Man: I-I couldn’t love that child.

Wealthy Old Man: My wife died after she gave birth to that child, and I thought that child had killed my wife. So……

Jude: Then ya sold Anne to the owner of this mansion, ‘n used the money to start a successful business.

Jude: Ya happy thatcha got rich by sacrificin’ your kid?

Wealthy Old Man: I-I let her go because I was thinking of that child’s happiness!

Wealthy Old Man: I didn’t think was good for that child to be raised without love.

Jude: ……So ya tryin’ to say it ain’t your fault.

Jude's earthy voice oozed with unconcealed murderous intent.

Jude: Ain’t no way a child can be happy if someone buys ‘em for a pittance.

Wealthy Old Man: That’s……

Perhaps out of guilt, the old man’s eyes wandered around.

He probably knew what would become of Anne, when he sold her to the owner of the mansion.

Kate: That’s too cruel…….Anne’s been waiting for you for a long time……!

Wealthy Old Man: I feel sorry..…. Let's bury the body next to my wife's grave.

The old man looked at the body resting in the corner of the room and quickly looked away, as if he couldn't bear to look at it.

(There’s no sign of mourning for the departed Anne……)

(……Anne’s been waiting for this type of person?)

I was filled with helpless thoughts, but there was nothing I could do..

The only consolation is that Anne smiled when she disappeared.

Jude: ……That’s ‘nough. My business is finished, I’m goin’ home.

Jude suddenly seems to have lost interest and turns on his heel. I followed after him.

Wealthy Old Man: Well, wait. I have a bad foot. I need you to lend me a hand when I go home.

Jude: It’d be nice is somebody came back to pick ya up.

Wealthy Old Man: …….You over there, lend me a hand.

When Jude refused, the old man tried to rely on me.

But, I didn’t want to help him because of what he did to Anne.

As I was wondering how to refuse, Jude grabbed my arm and forcibly led me out.

On the way back home in the carriage, Jude still had a grim expression on his face.

(There was something I wanted to ask Jude, but it didn't seem like I could ask him.)

Jude: ……What. Got somethin’ to say, then say it.

Kate: S-sorry……Um……

Kate: Jude you weren’t like your usual self, you were being lenient, so I wondered why……

Jude likes to make rich people who sit safely in high places to despair.

He’s said before that he’ll never forgive a contract defaulter.

Anne's father fits those two conditions perfectly.

However, Jude didn't push him into a corner or torture him any more than necessary.

Jude: Personally, I was so angry I wanted to kill ‘im.

Jude: But, Anne doesn’t want that.

Kate: Ah……

(……It’s true that Anne loved her father until the end.)

(No matter how angry we are, Anne doesn't want her father to suffer.)

(Instead of being consumed by anger, Jude was thinking about Anne's feelings……)

When I think about Anne, I’m not in the mood to chat.

A quiet moment passed without either of us saying anything.

I wondered how much time passed. Eventually, Jude began speaking to himself.

Jude: No matter how unreasonable it was, you wouldn’t hate it,

Jude: Waiting as a ghost for the day when the promise would be fulfilled.…..

Jude: ……Love is a curse.

After everything that happened in the haunted house was cleared up, I decided to write a report about it.

However, I quickly got stuck, so I went to the lounge for a change of pace.

Jude: ……Ya look gloomy. Still thinkin’ ‘bout the kid?

Kate: ……Yes.

Anne met her father and ascended to heaven with a happy smile on her face.

(Anne must have been happy with that, but…… I still can't get over the feeling in my chest.)

(“Love is a curse……”)

I recall the words Jude muttered in the carriage on the way home.

No matter how unreasonable and cruel her father was, Anne loved her father and kept waiting.

On the other hand, Anne's father was worried that he would be cursed because of breaking his promise due to having no love for her.

(I think what binds people together more firmly than the fear of punishment surely is...love.)

(Jude isn’t the kind of person who is afraid of punishment.)

(If that's the case, then the promise that Jude is trying to keep was also made out of love……?)

Curious about this I looked at Jude, and our eyes met.

Jude: ……Ain’t it better to just forget?

Kate: What……?

Jude: About Anne. Worryin’ ‘bout it is a waste of time.

Kate: ……No, I won't forget.

I will never forget the smile Anne gave me and the time we spent together.

Kate: I will make sure to record this incident in the report, and then……

Kate: I will do my best as a fairytale writer to ensure that such a tragic event is never recorded again.

Kate: I believe that if we use the Crown to defeat evil, we can nip these tragedies in the bud.

Jude: ……Ha. It’d be easier to forget, but I as I thought, you’re a masochist for choosin’ the thorny path.

Jude said in exasperation and left the common room.

Kate: This is fine……

After struggling for several days.…..I finished writing the report on the haunted mansion.

(When I finish writing the report, I always feel like the incident has come to a close.…..)

(.…..I don't think I'll be able to forget this incident any time soon.)

Her father will soon be tried on charges of human-trafficking for selling Anne to the mansion’s owner.

But he doesn't have long to live. Even if he does atone for his sins, it won't be for very long.

(Anne was made to suffer, so is it cruel to want someone to suffer just as much…..)

(……It’s no use. I can’t sleep while thinking about this.)

It felt like my thoughts were getting darker and more stagnant, perhaps because of the silence of the night.

When I headed to the kitchen to get something to drink to refresh my mood,

Victor was there humming while making sweets.

Victor: Oh, good evening Kate. Are you staying up late tonight?

Kate: Yes. I can’t sleep……

Victor: Jude had the same look on his face as you. It must be because of that haunted house mission you two recently did.

For the past few days, I've been going back and forth between the library and my room to finish writing my report.

I never met Jude, so I didn't know what was going on with him.

(I wonder if Jude feels the same way as me.)

Kate: ……Victor, I'm going to check on Jude.

Sorry for the delay. There were several lines that were quite a challenge to translate. Can't wait to see the EN version to be released and see how off I am. Anyway....

**Jude appears to be using proper English when addressing Anne's sperm donor at the start of their conversation, and then he appears to drop it after she ascends to heaven. ***For this line, 御託はええわ (Gotaku wa ewa), was placed before Jude said he was only told to look for the necklace, but I chose to drop this from the t/l. It seems to indicate pretentious/tedious/saucy speech to name a few. It would appear Jude is calling the donor's response tedious, however, this can potentially be translated another way, and I won't bore you with that. But, if anyone knows how, this is rendered properly, kindly let me know in the comments.

[Master Lists] [Bitter End] [Epilogue] Tag List: @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 Dividers: @/brokenbard

[sunny44]

Marriage (Part 8)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x ex fiancée!reader Mason Mount x Fiancée!reader

Warnings: fights and that’s it

Summary: Max leaves his fiancée y/n at the altar on their wedding day but after years of regretting what he did, by a miracle of fate (or Lando) she appears in his life again.

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I didn't have the courage to take the test.

It had been two days since the event, and I sat on the bed, staring at a pregnancy test kit, trying to gather the courage to use it.

Mason was at training, and despite being invited by Red Bull and wanting to avoid Max, Mason's media team insisted that attending the Monaco GP would be good for his image.

That was the reason for our trip.

I used the opportunity when I needed to pee and took the test. Once done, I put it back in the box and tossed it into my bedside table.

I spent the day working to distract myself. I only realized it was evening when I felt a kiss on my forehead.

"Been here all day?" he asked.

"Yeah, had a lot of work," I replied.

"Have you eaten?"

"I only noticed the time because you arrived," I said. He chuckled and kissed my forehead again.

"Well, then I'll get something for us to eat, and you stay right there."

I continued working until he left, only stopping when he returned and we had dinner.

After we finished, we went to the bedroom. I took a shower while he got ready to sleep.

"Love, can I borrow your charger? Can't find mine." he asked.

"Sure, it's in my bedside table, first drawer." I shouted back.

After drying my hair, doing my skincare and getting dressed, I went to the room. Mason was sitting on the bed with a paper in hand and a displeased expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Mind explaining what this is?" He stood up and practically threw the paper at me.

It was the letter.

I took a deep breath, realizing Mason had found the letter. The atmosphere in the room shifted, filled with unspoken tension.

"Mason, I..." I began, but he interrupted.

"Just explain what the hell this is." he insisted, eyes fixed on the letter.

I walked over, took the paper, and glanced at the content. I hadn't read it since he handed it to me. It probably contained words and apologies Max wanted me to know, and my heart raced.

"It's a letter." I stated the obvious, trying to buy time to gather my thoughts.

"I can see that." he replied with a touch of frustration. "But it's a letter apologizing and also a letter saying he still loves you."

Taking another deep breath, I decided to be honest.

"Max wrote this letter to me some time ago."

"How long ago?"

"Do you remember when I told you I became friends with Lando?" He nodded. "We hung out that time because he insisted on introducing me to his best friends that ended up being Max and Daniel."

"What does that have to do with the letter?" He asked, frustrated.

"After the party that he introduced us he talked to Lando about what happened. He made him help him meet me to apologize. So, he said he wrote this letter and handed it to me, but I didn't have the courage to open it."

"And why did you keep it?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe one day I'd have the courage to read it and that’s why I kept it. Perhaps I felt I needed a reminder of how things were before."

His expression changed from frustration to anger.

"You kept a letter from your ex in our house? Are you serious?"

"I was unsure what to do with it and couldn't bring myself to throw it away, so I kept it. It's a piece of the past I kept hidden."

"Why hide it, then? Why keep secrets from me?" Mason's frustration grew. "You lied again about this. Not long ago, you argued with me for defending you and then you do this, keeping his things."

"I thought I could handle it on my own. I didn't want to burden you with my past." I explained.

He sighed, clearly upset.

"Y/n, we promised transparency. Keeping something like this from me... hurts."

"I'm sorry, Mason. I should have told you about this and I know this now." I admitted, feeling a pang of guilt.

"But it's always going to be like this, isn't it? You lie to me about him, and it makes me think you still love him even after he left you at the altar like an idiot," he said angrily. "You were supposed to tell me about him years ago and then when I found out on the internet I’ve try to be cool with it because I saw how much it hurts you, even if I was angry that you e lied to me. And now this, im your fiancé and u was supposed to be the one you trust to tell me this things but apparently lying to me it’s easier for you.

“I’m sorry.”

“I honestly don't know if I can still do this."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know if I can marry you." I felt tears fill my eyes. "I don't know if I can marry someone who lies to me."

"Mason, I..."

"I need some time." He left the room, leaving me there alone.

Bonus scene!

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